FLASH FICTION 300 words
Something about the air had changed. Not so much the temperature; more the movement around her bare legs. Instinctively she curled up to protect herself from the gust which blew dust up from the ground. She couldn’t blink so instead turned to face the other way, the dark place she called home.
She continued to spin, her limbs automatically achieving what was needed and what they had been so well design to do. The silk was taught immediately and pristine white. Light reflected from the fibres, visible only to her. She spun again and continued to do so until a very loud bang followed by an incredible vibration. She balanced herself and paused in her spinning while she assessed the movement.
After a while, she decided it was time to check the fly which she’d been preparing for some days now in the far away place. She had to make her way gingerly across the exposed space, into the light and under and through some obstacles in order to reach the store. She was used to the route though and tended to scuttle her way across in seconds.
As she was nearing her destination and her senses were heightened with the excitement of a feast, the rumbling and vibration stopped. She paused, as her instinct had always suggested she do as a reaction to any time of change in the environment. Only long enough to assess. Another bang a slight, hardly noticeable, rise in the floor level. Move!
From her hiding place, she skulked backwards as more light suddenly filled the whole of the ground across which she’d just come. A shadow, which moved and a an odd sound, before the lighting was restored to normal, but again the bang! Did these monsters ever think of moving around quietly?
#flashfiction #amwriting
What a fabulous perspective you have weaved in so few words. The fear is clear, fear to survive. The prose almost tip-toed. Wonderful writing.
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😱 your praise means so much … thank you!!!!
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You are most welcome, Viola Bleu.
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Wonderful story and I felt for the spider despite being scared of them.
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Aw .. thank you!
I really enjoyed writing it from the spider’s point of view 🕷
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That’s a clever story, because by writing from the pov of the arachnid you can obtain surprises that aren’t available in the same way for human characters. To us the bang would just be a slamming door, window, trapdoor whatever – to the spider, life or death. And I loved your delicate twist at the end.
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Thank you Penny, I feel humbled by your lovely comments.
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I really love this! It’s funny how POV can be so powerful and heart warming. I always remember the moment I realised the pilot Liesel finds in the Book thief, is British and the language he uses that she can’t comprehend is our own. It heightened the emotion massively to be reminded I was in the heart and mind of ‘the other side’.
Even when it’s a little (terrifying) spider it still has that wonderful ability to give your mind a little shift.
Thanks for a little joyful moment of identifying with a spider 😆
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Thank you Anna for the feedback – after I had spotted her, stopped the car in a panic, opened the door to let her out to discover she’d disappeared under the passenger seat, I stood around for ages debating what to do!!
I deliver for my present job and hence had to continue with my route, so gingerly got back in and drove on!
The idea came into my mind as I drove that the spider must have also wondered what was going on .. and once I started to think about it, I had to write something!
It thrills me to hear that it worked x
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I really enjoyed this especially because of the winter feeling in the post. Perhaps its my imaginations running with the image and your flash fiction. Thank you for sharing your work.
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That is lovely feedback thank you. I am learning to ‘show’ atmosphere rather than ‘tell’ it 🎉
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Love the story from the POV of the spider. You managed to make her such a likeable character that I worried that the bangs were going to obliterate her. I was quite fearful for her.
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Thank you so much; I was inspired to write it following the appearance of quite a large arachnid in the passenger footwell while I was driving one day! I pulled over into a carpark and typed it there and then before the story departed! 😀
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That sounds like a much better reaction to scream, panic and run into a tree. She prompted a good story.
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So was I! I really cared that she got away 🙂
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