PHOTO PROMPT © Dale Rogerson
She had missed the last train and there was only one person she could ring who would be sure to rescue her.
She contemplated lying along the metal bench bolted to the platform; quite smooth considering the lace-effect pattern and even the curve might offer some support. But the cool air swirled around her ankles and it was not yet midnight. By the early hours she would be perished, frozen in time. She had walked past ice-covered bushes all day; no sun to bring warmth. Sunday trains were dismal.
Her fingers trembled as she dialled his number.
#FridayFictioners
Rochelle Wisoff-Fields: Addicted to Purple runs a fun creative writing prompt weekly … 100 words from the photo prompt
I wonder just why she is reluctant to call this person. There could be so many reasons – I like that you leave us wondering.
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Dear Viola,
I get the impression she’s reluctant to call this person. Nice descriptions. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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That was exactly the impression I wanted to give; so relieved it came across :))
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You’ve written a subtle, understated story which hints at big emotions without ever being explicit. She is confident that he will come and rescue her, and yet she is reluctant to call him, even fearful; you lead us to feel that her fingers are trembling from more than just the cold as she dials him. I was left with the feeling that he is at the very least a control freak, and possibly much worse.
I also admired your descriptive writing; you make the mundane station a place of frigid beauty.
First rate writing, Viola!
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Wow .. thank you so so much for sending such encouraging words. It means the world to me; just starting to dip my toe into literary waters and have so many ideas in my head that I wish to make come alive with words!
Happy Christmas 🎄
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You’re very welcome. I look forward to reading more of your stories!
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It seems like she is reluctant to call him, even in this situation. I hope he treats her right.
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I’m pleased that vibe came across .. this piece is the opening words to a short story in which we find out that he did not treat her right in the past…. she has always struggled with believing his promises that he has changed ..
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A great scene; I can feel her despair at the situation. Nice to have someone you can count on when life hands you lemons — I really hope he doesn’t let her down.
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Aw thank you Christine .. what a lovely expression! I hope so too! 😉
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