WELLBEING

Page 3 girl..

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Still sharing the love this week … day 3 … anyone NOT heard of these guys?  Check out what they’re doing today .. its really warming.  Go on over and give yourself a pat on the back or three.

 

27 thoughts on “Page 3 girl..”

    1. … this is amazing. Very exciting news. You took the prompt and in the words of Louis, made it your own.
      I shall wait to read chapter 1 while your story is evidently building and growing all the time. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼🤣

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      1. Fear not … I’ve been told by a M&B expert that my chapter was too saucy (he’d only fantasised about her once in the shower and I didn’t mention one body part!!!!)
        Maybe I should describe a knitting circle and it will be safe enough?

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      2. im bad writer, Ive spent almost two weeks working on a short story and it turns to ash in front of my eyes
        So I salvaged some parts of it and started again with the
        This time the Premise being the story of an engineer who has started working for a Facility that uses a device to manifest Ideas within someone’s mind into reality.Then falls in love with a girl with a fractured mind that’s using the machine in conjunction with drugs to bring into reality ominously warped creatures
        Every time she brings a creature into reality she corrodes her own sanity, can he stop her from her own self-destruction ?

        I was hoping you could read what I have so far and be brutally honest with me.
        Its only 500 words so far
        is that Okay?

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Of course it’s more than ok … it sounds like me trying to become an author!! 🤣🙈. So how do you send it to me without me publicly typing my email address here ?!!!

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      4. The leader, a man about 70 sat crossed legged next to the roaring fire. Quickly glancing at my resume before crumpling it into a ball and tossing it at the fire. He burst into a hearty laugh

        “You’re going to need more than just a piece of paper to validate your utility.”
        “let’s start with a week and let’s see how things develop ”

        Tilting his head to the skinny man standing next to him

        ” Build a room a room for him when you can”

        He walked past me and towards the door, we left a green twisted tubular building, The village had organically shaped buildings with a large white warehouse at the end of the village standing out against the contrast of the mountainside that surrounded us.
        I extended my hand

        “Hi I’m Desmond”

        without reaching out for the handshake, he looked back

        ” Name’s Red, we’ll construct your living quarters later. Our last engineer left a broken matter assimilator, with 7 or em’ having one having one brake is a 14% loss in production. I’d like it running as fast as possible, If you need anything ask Katie”
        getting closer to the warehouse, more details came into focus white marble pillars it looked like a blend between The temple of Athena and the Notre-Dame Cathedral

        All of these Structures were amazing!
        I spoke

        ” With these matter assimilators we can assemble furniture, pots and pans,rugs, and much more into our homes, our homes have a memorializing function that strangely enough remind us of ourselves. So we can say that our thoughts shape the spaces we build, and the spaces we create in turn shape our subjective experience. We design to Cathedrals to evoke awe and grandeur so with mater assimilators than can read and scan our minds and transform thoughts into physical representations these houses we building with the scans of our minds, what do they even mean, Isn’t that your leader’s house ?? That green tubular building was made from scanning his mind into a representation of himself, like what does that even invoke?! Do we have psychologist around to help decipher what it means ”

        we walked up the white brick steps and though a large wooden door.

        “your like a peacock displaying it’s intellectual tail feathers, save it for somebody that cares. There is much to be done, get to work “

        the door swung inwards and he led him to the smell of dust, a dense tangle of machine parts and wires rising to both sides

        A ring of chaired people with bulky metallic helmets a bundle of tubes and wires extend from their helmets, into the back of their necks and the veins of their right arms. While a thick secondary wire runs into the middle of the chaired group , into a black spherical Computer, then from the computer a wire as thick as an arm runs into an array of Large glass boxes the size of a Shower room

        I walked to the corner Workbench and removed a tarp that sent dust flying , it looked like fairy dust suspended in the air

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      5. I had to read that twice…

        If you were asking my opinion on whether the piece evokes emotions – then I list those I felt;

        Curiosity
        Amusement
        Recognition
        Fear

        All the things you’d expect a reader to gain from a .. thriller.

        I like the fairy dust moment… 🧚🏼‍♀️ … finished on a slightly less sinister thread

        Will you develop it, I wonder …

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Pacing was perfect, you are with the engineer, wishing to see what he sees, wanting next to know he plans to do..
        Vocabulary is more than fine too. You know it is .. you have an intellectual brain.

        I read it twice because I wanted to look deeper into what I first time just ‘read’ … and sure enough, I saw more

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      1. Goodo 👌🏼
        Well I’ve had enough of the cold now … and John & Riya may be too dark and complex for Mills & Boon … I don’t want to lose their vibe so won’t rewrite them. Ibstead I will take them in a different direction.
        M&B need stories similar to the film ‘Pretty Woman’ …. hmmmm. Whether I can do those remains to be seen 🙊🙈🤣

        Liked by 1 person

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