Things can seem so desperate, but when you release the grip a little, it becomes more obvious where to hold.
Tag: anxiety
Men? Not romantic? Unable to feel emotion? Utter bollocks. Some are better at it than us females!
I’d never have taken her that day had I known.
The way she’d smiled and waved as I turned the car on to her drive to collect her, like a small child bouncing with impatience before her first trip to the zoo.
My forehead against the window, I stare unseeing through the glass into the night. Breath shadows the vision beyond in pools of disappearing mist. Forty six floors up, the city lights sparkle a horizon below the vast sky.
The pain is unbearable and they will have to drag me away when the tower closes if they want me down. It is here that I feel close to her and never miss a week. Every Tuesday.
Silent tears now. How can I never be with her in this life of mine? Never see her face, her body, the way her hair fell around her shoulders, how the light caught her eyes. Never to smell her skin, that warm scent of faded perfume later in a day which we’d started wrapped together in sleep.
The horror that grips me daily squeezes my insides once again as I remember for the millionth time that we did not kiss in the lift on the journey up. We were saving the moment we both knew would come.
We had stood facing each other, hands held, alone in the lift, giggling. The ring nestled in a box in my pocket – the very same that she had shown me three years earlier on our first trip to Paris – the one I’d secretly bought while she sat patiently through her street sketch.
Sobs now. No-one understands the loss. My palms against the glass, cool and smooth to the touch.
We’d planned it for months. To sneak down to the level below the viewing gallery. I knew the metal steps, down which security or maintenance crew occasionally ventured….
‘Gonna have to ask you to make your way back down mate. Closing in five.’
💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫
A short piece of fiction inspired to show that you can write men in emotional character parts and it works – shit, I hope it did? Listen to this if you have time and read it again!
💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫
So, I finished The Time Traveller’s Wife (thank you Joseph Beech for the reminder that its pages existed).
How can a washing-up girl review a Michelin star chef?(You tell them how it made you feel.)
Not a page was turned without my emotions on high alert. The love story between Clare and Henry is always at the forefront of Audrey’s writing. While there are other characters, somehow their plots do not take anything away from the problem at hand. And, Lord oh Lord, what a massive fucking problem they are trying to overcome; Henry’s time-travel!
At times, I would flick back a page or two to remind myself what year we were in and potentially could have benefitted from a diagram. However, it always became obvious through the text and Clare’s world from the first page to the final page is dealt with chronologically. (Maybe there’s one chapter where that is not the case).
While Henry jumps back and forth and they ‘deal’ with whatever issues he is bringing with him from the past or future, I wondered at times whether the story could have been written chronologically for him too. But of course it couldn’t. The whole point of the book is to throw us off course which it does the reader – and Clare – so well.
The further into the book I read, the connections and recognition of scenes played out (which are an inevitable and necessary in a plot such as this) became increasingly moving and relevant.
The writing style is sublime. The pages are littered with original metaphors and similes which keeps it fresh. Nothing worse than a cliche!
I am delighted to have read this book and shall not forget its story.

Anxious Mind? Try List Making (by Johnzelle)
I absolutely LOVE a list.
To be able to tick small achievements off, or cross words off on my whiteboard is metaphorical for ‘that’s you off my mind’ !!
I enjoyed reading this post by Alysjournals 🌸
I’m very happy to welcome Johnzelle back to my blog for a second guest post, this one all about a subject very close to my heart – list making. I make lists religiously, for anything and everything. If you’re like me, or even if you’re at the opposite end of the spectrum and don’t really understand why anyone would make lists, then this post is for you…
Make sure to go follow Johnzelle for more helpful posts about mental health when you’ve finished reading!
Let’s take a minute to imagine the inner workings of the anxious mind: fears, an overactive fight-or-flight response, racing thoughts, and much more. As someone living with an anxiety disorder, these are all thoughts, behaviors, and feelings that I experience on an almost daily basis. List making is a skill that I’ve used in my own life to help manage the racing thoughts.
View original post 659 more words
The perfect kiss
The first Bridget Jones Diary film.
Final scene.
Snow.
Anxiety she’s lost his interest….
“Wait a minute – nice boys don’t kiss like that!”
“Oh yes they fucking do.”
I always loved how that ended… while not all lovestories end with a happy outcome, sometimes we all love a big hug and this gives. It works because it has the anxiety she was feeling at his departure from her space, the thrill of the mini chase, his unreadable (for a moment) demeanour, the chemistry which has been building throughout the film… then the relief that their embrace instills within. That bond. That satisfaction. These are the elements I know Mills & Boon readers are used to and expect. My story may or may not conclude in this way – I am still struggling with the plot now I’ve reached a third way in…
Happy Monday!
I’m off to write Part 2 of the Bahamas 🖌
(photo credit to the film makers… )