Tag: confidence

What do you see? Love or heartbreak? A poem…

April 1, 2018

Turned over the calendar for April to find another stunning print from the Master of seduction, Jack Vettriano …. to me, this painting is not just about the couple you initially see….

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤💔💔

You said you would meet me on the pier,

I know I am late and for that I fear.

Your attention has been stolen from me,

A finely dressed suitor speaks to you, I see.

🔍

This sand is shifting with each step I take,

My words to you last night not fake.

Tonight’s dance was to be when,

I would ask if you wanted to try again.

📈

He looks tall and dark, a type you like,

I always felt with me you were polite.

To accept my blonde hair, green eyes,

And now my walk slows, my confidence dies.

💔

I have in my pocket for you, a box,

A pair of earrings in the shape of a fox.

Which match the pearl bracelet together we chose,

I suspect you’ve forgotten it, our journey near closed.

⚖️

I’ve paused on the beach to decide what to do,

But my soul is yearning only to be with you.

Who is that man up there on the pier?

Should I keep coming and face up to my fear?

 

“I want doesn’t get” (except I really do want it) #counselling #selfhelp

December 25, 2017

“I want doesn’t get”. Small children have been informed of this, as I was, forever. Good manners being the aim of the instruction delivered by well-meaning adults. “I would like is what you should say, Ellie.”

Ellie would nod, look off into the distance, and then return her focus to her mother’s face. “Mummy?” her six year old cheeks flushed from dragging the toboggan back up the slope.

“Yes darling?”

“I want to go down again – pleeeese?” a slight frown of anxiety and her mother gave in, the lesson forgotten.

“Just one more and then we must go.”

**********

We’ve all been there, on the receiving and delivery ends of well-meant advice. However, on rare occasions ‘want’ is a pushy fellow. It seeps under the skin, and into your blood-stream. The rush of desire for something previously not thought about becomes all encompassing. The increased heart rate when thinking about acquiring the perceived item, goal, person, destination changes us biologically. Eventually the wording ‘I would like..’ simply won’t cut it. I want it. I want it now. BAM! Those three words when allowed out to play, encourage the rise in adrenalin needed to activate the body to fight or flight.

Some things are realistically unachievable for me; such as a vague notion last year that I would have liked to have learned to play the piano within a year. To play to a level where I could entertain myself you understand (I had no plans to audition for the Royal Philharmonic.)

2017 brought with it some startling moments of enlightenment, not least through some hugely constructive counselling, requested by myself following some eye-opening meetings with professionals who told me I was blind to what was going on around me.

(The details and journey of these meetings I may well share in future posts; simply as it may help others to recognise their paths may not be quite their choice.)

2018 is going to be a good year; I feel it.

I want to enter some short story competitions.

I want to locate and sit in a silver DB5.

I want to explore now the kids have left home, travel to Europe and visit new cities (flights are booked to Milan mid-January for a long weekend; I do hope you will come with me).

Right now, ‘want’ is very important to me and I will use it. Do not be offended; I am a polite and well educated woman!

(I’ve just typed this watching SKYFALL for the 18th time; never bore of Bond, and the use of the DB5 for this 007 adventure was a genius move… I was inspired to write and I want to publish this before I go to bed).

Goodnight!! xx