Aspiring Author & Life Juggler
My shoulders hurt from the strain of my tied-up hands behind my back.
The ropes cut deeply into my skin, my wrists have become numb.
I wait in the dust, watching the motes move slowly through the shafts of light.
This light, it moves steadily around the room, as the sun moves across the sky.
Four days I think. Four sets of shafts of light. A billion motes.
When will you come to save me, to find me. You promised, you told me.
I believed you when I went with them. I trusted you, in your armour.
Man of the Woods is combining barley today.. in fact he’s still out there now, with our son corn carting on the tractor and trailer. He’ll go until damp air alters the cutability (I think I just made another word up) of the straw and he starts swearing from sorting blockages out. I’ve known him go to midnight before tiredness creeps over him.
I sat on the combine and kept him company for an hour and naturally he wanted to hear about my second hospital visit of the day. I bought sandwiches for lunch from the garage. Was not going to cook today!
So, mother.
When I tell you that the expertise of the NHS staff have lowered her sugars from 57 to 9.9 in thirty nine hours … and her keytones from 9 to 0.7, you’ll not be surprised that dad and I can’t sing their praises highly enough.
The diabetes consultant on duty at lunchtime was treated to a first class dressing down from the patient who is bloody lucky to still be alive. She cut him off at the knees verbally through the air mask, pointing her finger at him as she announced she was the creative ‘type’ and therefore was suffering from type5 diabetes and had he heard of it?
He was both slick and kind in his reply that he had indeed heard of the research but that presently in the UK, they still worked with Type 1 and Type 2. He went on to inform her that once she was stable, they would be introducing insulin injections alongside solid meals and they would teach her all she needed to know before being released but for the next few days, they had further observations to make.
I had four hours sleep last night so did grab a lie-in for half hour this morning, but dad didn’t sleep at all bless him, nor the night before when he phoned for the ambulance at 02:30.
We went in together this morning and each again a second time, coinciding for ten minutes. Then he came round for a beer in the garden … and enjoyed a debrief. He’s less worried about her now. 24 hours ago, they were saying ‘we’ll do all we can’. Tonight they’re saying all sorts of positive things but there’s still a long way to go.
The hallucinations make for interesting discussions.
‘Can you see the mist?’
‘The what, sorry?’
‘The mist’ she looked up to the ceiling. I looked up too and saw just the four square lights and a smoke alarm.
‘If you get up and walk round the bed, you’ll be in it.’
I purse my lips and watch the tea trolley on the other side of the 4-person ward,
‘Go on! Walk round!’ a little louder than I’d liked, I dutifully get up and move round the end of the bed.
‘See it?’
‘No mum, I don’t see it.’ I said it gently.
‘Oh, no – not you as well!’ 🙄 this emoji shows her face well ‘everyone says I’m going mad.’
‘It’s probably the medication.’ I suggest.. when actually in the back of my mind, something tells me hallucinations can be a side effect of a UTI. She’s on a hefty dose of antibiotics for infection that did mess with the sugars. Let’s just say there’s a lot going on.
‘Those white squares on the ceiling – they are where the mist comes from. They send it out in hospitals early evening to relax the patients.’
I didn’t argue.
I’m now worried about every single sweet treat I open. How much is too much?
Dad and I sat in Costa on the ground floor of the hospital and we had the most open chat I’ve ever had with him in my life. We both agreed if she makes it through, we are both going to be much stronger about doing what’s ‘right’ rather than sit back and watch her do it ‘her way’ when it’s so detrimental to her health. It was incredible to hear him tonight say ‘against my better judgment, I agreed to let her try her way.’
🌸
Meanwhile, Curtis Brown emailed asking for my first 3000 words and synopsis again as they decide who gets a place on their six-month online course. I’ll hear within a couple days I reckon.
Hope you’ve all had great day with lots of positivity in it
Have an ice cream,
Cool you down.
It is the last one,
My son will frown
❄️
This weather is crazy,
Not born of the UK.
Are we living in the Med
And no-one bothered to say?
❄️
Perfect for my business,
Horrendous for growing crops.
Now on the eve of harvest,
I bet the dry run stops 🙈
Six weeks of cutting it usually takes,
Weather-dependent, and mechanical breakdowns.
Are Man of the Woods’ contentious bone,
It’s my turn to support him, to keep him in the zone.
I have a few journal pages full of scratchy mid-third scenes for my novel.
I started writing chapter fourteen this morning; I’m 1,224 words in and paused only to move the car to a new 2-hr slot .. you get to know the residential roads in the London suburbs quite quickly if you’re a regular visitor and two hours here is only £2.20! However if you go over, make that a £40 fine 🙈
Bought a takeaway cappuccino and now back on it… this scene has strayed from my pencil notes, but Martha started talking to the passenger next to her you see … they had this whole conversation, her and this petit and bright elderly lady with the perfect white bob and neat make-up.
She enquired if Martha was okay… because she spotted that maybe she wasn’t… and they chatted. Martha speaks to people now where she used to hide all her emotions and you know what? By the time she got off that plane, the little old lady’s words were ringing in her ears and she was inspired to continue her day on a positive note 💫
And look what arrived in the post yesterday 😱😱
OMG … I know it’s only my own design for some cards by MOO but it makes it slightly less like a big joke and more like a possibility, right?
(Can I just say, lean forward so I can whisper to you alone, I am soooooo relieved you are holding my hand on this journey xxx)
Read part 1 Here!
Keely instinctively pulled Isaac towards her by the shoulder as the grey ankle became ever more visible with the dog’s clawing, scratch marks creating only blackened stripes.
‘Euw, yuck. Is that human?’ Isaac’s hand flew to his mouth and he turned away.
She found her phone and within minutes sirens could be heard.
‘Isaac, you stay with PC Deaney here, your dad’s on his way.’ he accepted the offer of a seat in the back of a patrol car.
‘Sit in here darling, it’s warm. Look you’re shivering. Mac can get in too while we wait for your dad.’ Isaac gripped the dog on his lap, silence had washed over him.
Bryan hurried up the hill towards her. She smiled at his thoughtfulness as he handed her a coffee.
‘Guessed we’d be here some time!’ his eyes were a hazel colour she’d not noticed before and his scruffy appearance felt somewhat homely under the circumstances.
‘Thanks.’
‘There’s something else. I checked the council’s records for ownership of these plot ten years back. Turns out Wilkinson’s father had one.’
They waited while the area was taped and a gazebo erected, lights set up. In the dusk they moved slowly around the sections of gardening prowess; some plots spotless in their display, others more natural but abundant with vegetables. Some had been left untended for so long, they had returned to a small wilderness for wildlife, and weeds.
‘Look, there’s that bloody Oxalis – would you believe it!’ Bryan touched the yellow flowers and out flew three, if not more, moths. They fluttered gently away from them into the cooling evening air, towards the warmth of the halogen bulbs now running by generator.
‘Butterflies?’
‘Moths.’ Keely corrected. ‘That drink we never got?’
Bryan stopped and turned to face his partner of two years. He waited.
‘I’d like a drink tonight if you’ve nothing more exciting planned?’
‘Well, I’ll have to cancel the bridge club ladies and set the telly to record Love Island, but I think I can fit in a drink with the cleverest Latin speaking detective Camden has to offer.’
🙃
Bryan had been instructed to see where in England Oxalis was prevalent. Keely took herself home and after parking her car, decided to walk awhile to get some air.
‘Hello Kayleigh! Look at Miss Marple…’ Janet was gripping the hand of her sister, her main carer. Keely never corrected her mistake, the community were delighted Janet was out and about following a severe head injury two years earlier and a prolonged period of never setting foot outside.
‘She looks really well Janet!’ Bobbing down to pet the invisible dog, Keely grinned up at the sisters, Janet squatting beside her, their hands stroking the same air. ‘She’s been catching butterflies!’
The three talked a while longer until Keely’s phone sang out, indicating a call from Bryan.
‘Gotta go girls – see you around….. Go on?’ she walked away from the sisters and turned to walk up past the allotments.
‘It grows everywhere, its nothing remarkable after all. Often on rough unkempt ground. Hardly narrows it down does it?’ Bryan sighed.
A boy was stood further up the hill on the path and appeared to be shouting at a small dog through the fencing, invisible from her position at the bottom of the hill.
‘Ok, thanks Bryan. We’ll go see Wilkinson tomorrow. Get some rest.’
‘You ok?’ Bryan asked instead of ringing off.
‘I’m fine. See you tomorrow.’ she touched the red circle.
As she got closer she saw it was Isaac calling for that little rascal of theirs, ‘Mac’.
‘Where’s he gone this time Isaac?’ She drew level and turned to look and saw the little dog’s attempts to dig against the side of an old shed. ‘Probably an old fox earth or a badger set. Let’s go in. It’s ok, you’re with me, services to the community!’ Keely pulled the lose chain link apart and Isaac stepped through. She followed. Mac barked at them as they approached, his haunches tense and muzzle snorting out soil before going in for another frantic dig. Isaac moved to grab his collar but the dog paused in his actions and growled.
‘He does that when he’s feeding sometimes, but he’s a good dog.’ Isaac worried that the policewoman Keely would think he was one of those dangerous dogs and report him.
‘It’s ok Isaac. I think I can see why he’s so intent on digging.’
Read part 1 HERE
Is it right to ignore your son who’s bent over to peer in at the cheese grilling on his too-thick slices of toast.
Is it right to need to race upstairs because you’ve reached the final chapter of your present read, which has been part of your life for the last few weeks and there are too many people chatting in the kitchen about the weather.
I need utter silence to concentrate, even from the background tv noise.. the presenter on ‘Storage Hunters’ is rolling his voice in auction mode quicker than I’d run from a queue to see Star Wars and right now it’s messing with my love life.
JoJo Moyes’ STILL ME has taken me longer to read than my reading buddies in the FB group, but we all know I read during portholes of time stolen from other pressing requirements.
Clever clues throughout the book are dotted for us to read; they come back to help tie up loose ends and assist in Lou Clark’s personal journey of discovery, that amazing girl from Stortford (who once only existed in JoJo’s mind).
🌸
I closed my bedroom door and continued to read the final chapter, my eyes already misty from two chapters earlier.
Lou HAS to make it through these crowds … FFS don’t let this fail JoJo … I NEED this to end well.
As a writer you hope your readers won’t simply enjoy your prose and find it well written. You want them to invest their time and care deeply about the characters.
The lines of letters passed through my eyes as she gets nearer and nearer to her destiny… my head is shaking, my heart rate is high … I’m gripping the duvet on my unmade bed…. PLEASE JoJo …
I turn the final page of a hardback book containing over 460 pages …. and I’m aware last night’s washing up still isn’t done because Love Island needed watching and Adam needed shooting.
The final two sentences and I’m balling my eyes out; that bittersweet moment. It’s finished. My journey with them is over.
Oh hell, I’d love to write like that 💫
